In this moment of waiting...

In this moment of waiting,

I didn’t set your heart to wait with so much fears, worries, and loneliness.

I’ve set your heart, your beautiful heart to wait with SO MUCH MORE.

So much more providence,

So much more love,

So much more faithfulness,

So much more strength,

Even so much more beautiful things that I’ve prepared and would be very happy to POUR and GIVE IT ALL to you.

Full and overflowing, remember?

In this moment of waiting,

TRUST ME.

"Waiting patiently, she received what God has promised her," - Hebrews 6:13

To that guilty feelings

Buat setiap perasaan bersalah yang muncul di setiap apa yang kamu makan;

setiap rasa sedih,

gagal,

takut,

bahkan ngga aman dan ngga berharga,

Kamu nggak sendirian. 

Hampir seluruh wanita, ngga peduli seberapa kurus/gemuknya mereka, mengalami hampir semua perasaan-perasaan yang kamu rasakan. 

Too much social media, magazines, videos even healthy lifestyles have consumed our minds about foods, health, fitness and those stuffs... then changed it not the way God wants it to be. 

SO MANY WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALL OF THESE. 

AND NOT ALL OF THEM HAVE REALIZED HOW IT IS PARALYZING THEIR REAL WORTH AND VALUE.

Stop feeling guilty of your foods. 

Stop being controlled by foods, comparison games, and all exercises. 

Jesus said,
"You shall not live by bread (foods) alone, but by every Word that comes from My mouth," -Matthew 4:4

This verse explains you everything. 

No kind of foods can define or even harm you. Tuhan menciptakan makanan dan memberikannya padamu untuk memberkatimu, menyehatkanmu. Dia juga memberikanmu anugrah untuk menikmatinya dengan bijaksana, nggak berlebih dan nggak kurang - tetapi CUKUP. Mengabaikan anugrah ini membuatmu kehilangan kontrol atas makananmu, sehingga kamu sulit makan dengan CUKUP dan mensyukurinya. Mengabaikan anugrah ini merusak hubunganmu terhadap makanan, memberikan emosi-emosi negatif setiap kali kamu makan, membuatmu merasa bahwa hanya makananmu yang dapat memberimu rasa aman, menjaga & memelihara hidupmu sesuai yang kamu mau. Pada akhirnya, mengabaikan anugrah ini membuatmu kehilangan kepercayaan bahwa dari semula, bukan makananmu tetapi Tuhanmu yang memelihara dan menjaga hidupmu. He is your only Creator. Dan pengabaian ini pada akhirnya menghancurkan identitas sejatimu di dalam Dia. 

Kamu ngga hidup dari makananmu, tetapi kamu hidup dan dipelihara dari Firman Allah. Dan Firman-Nya menegaskan, Dia yang take care hidupmu, membuat hidupmu dan tubuhmu sempurna dan berharga. Bukan makanan yang kamu atur, perjuangkan, usahakan sedemikian rupa. bukan pula segala usahamu dan rencanamu.

Lupakan bagaimana kamu harus hidup sesuai makanan-makanan yang menurutmu aman, lupakan dan tinggalkan rencana-rencana bodohmu, usaha-usaha bodohmu untuk mempertahankan tubuhmu ataupun memperjuangkannya menjadi lebih baik. Kembali pada anugrah-Nya, karna anugrah-Nya membuatmu mengerti bagaimana kamu harus percaya kepada-Nya diatas makanan dan usahamu. anugrah-Nya membuatmu mampu makan dengan cukup dan dengan benar. Hanya anugrah-Nya yang sanggup mengembalikan identitas sejatimu, keberhargaan sejatimu :)

Do Not Fear

Isaiah 41:10 - AMP

‘Do not fear [anything], for I am with you;
Do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you;
I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].’

The reasons for you NOT TO FEAR:

1. Because He is with you - anytime, anywhere, even at any circumstances; good or bad, happy or sad, joy or pain, trust or fear. God is staying with you. 
2. Because He is your God - He’s all YOURS. You have Him. Fear may have imaginations to attack you, but you have God to overcome them. 
3. Because He will strengthen you - You will be stronger and stronger in each trial. This is a promise. 
4. Because He will help you - Anytime you need it, God is there helping you. 
5. Because He will take hold of your hand with His righteous hand - He’s holding your hand wherever whenever you go, no matter what happens beside you, or in front of you; He is holding you with the hand of power and victory :)

Notice who is the ‘I’. It is GOD, not you. you are not with your own self, but God is with you. You will not strengthen and help yourself alone, but God will do both for you. You are not alone… God FIGHTS it for you to the victory. He certainly will do everything to help you out of your fear. And your job is to simply trust Him. Wouldn’t He be very happy knowing you put your trust on Him?

The next time FEAR knocking your mind, remember this: God will hit it for me and He is holding my little hand right now. I’m just a little girl with a super big God. 

Reassurance

The Exchange

Today I cried to God, again and again,

with all of these tiredness and hopelessness.

I gave my heart back to God,

throwing it away recklessly;

with all the disappointment,

all the heart-broken, painful moments, hurting words,

all my uncontrolled fears and worries which has haunted me for long… 

I sat under His feet, dwelling, asking, even begging God to fix my heart

My heart was cracking everywhere.

He looked at me, deeply.

and instead of taking and fixing my heart, rather, He stepped on it. 

It was shattered all around me, all around Him.

He then smiled at me, said that I don’t need that broken heart anymore.

He opened His hands, giving me a new heart… and it is His heart… 

rather than telling me to change and fixing my heart, He creates the change; the new heart.

And His heart perfectly fits the hole inside my soul.

I've finally come to realize that I don't need to fight so hard,
or to keep my head up high, trying to be really strong in my own strength.
I don't even need to fight this much to protect my heart from being broken.
He gives the exchange, 
and now it is His perfect love surrounding, protecting my soul; helping me to love like He loves
it is His heart covering me.

Ever got the feeling when you’re finally found a shelter and hid inside it, avoiding the heavy rain outside? That’s exactly the relief feeling as I’m now hiding in His heart, and even having it inside my soul — perfectly… securely. 

"Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the LORD has been good to you..."  

Psalm 116:7

Let it be Your Lovingkindness

Lamentations 3 : 22-28

It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that I am not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion and my inheritance,” says my soul;
“Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait [confidently] for Him,
To those who seek Him [on the authority of God’s word].
It is good for me to wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for me that I should bear
The yoke [of godly discipline] in my youth.
Let me sit alone [in hope] and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me [for my benefit].

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,

the only thing that matters the most to me

the only thing that hugs my soul very tight

that I’m not consumed with any other things.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,

the only thing that makes me see,

how deeply loved, blessed, and secured I am

in the arms of my loving Father.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God

the only refuge for my soul

the only thing I am waiting and longing for,

in this morning of struggle, fear and despair,

and every morning, throughout my day… 

Let it be your lovingkindness, God… 

And let me sit alone in hope and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me. 

The Beauty of Trust

The beauty of trust is seen when you know how He actually feels to see your trust. Here is the thing: God is very happy with your every trust on Him :)

Ngga ada yang lebih menyenangkan Tuhan daripada kepercayaanmu kepada-Nya.
Dalam setiap kepercayaanmu, penyerahan hakmu (tentang apapun), Tuhan begitu disenangkan.
Inilah persembahan terbaik dan begitu harum di mata dan hatiNya, simply karna kamu memberikan apa yang paling kamu inginkan, atau mungkin kamu takutkan; cuma ke dalam tangan Dia :)

"Memberikan Tuhan kepercayaanmu yang utuh dan manis untuk memelihara hidupmu, segalanya tentang kamu, adalah kepercayaan yang menyenangkan hatiNya."

Kalau Tuhan begitu disenangkan dengan penyerahan hak dan kepercayaan kita, bagaimana mungkin kita ngga bersukacita dalam setiap kepercayaan kita kepadaNya? bagaimana mungkin kita ngga bersukacita waktu kita menyerahkan setiap keinginan dan ketakutan kita, mengijinkan hatiNya yang penuh cinta bekerja buat hidup kita?

Percaya berarti mengijinkan cintaNya bekerja memenuhi hidup kita, bukan kita lagi yang berusaha keras untuk jaga atau kontrol hidup kita; tapi Tuhan sendiri. Percaya, sampai hidup kita ngga lagi diisi oleh ketidakpuasan, ketakutan, kekhwatiran yang ngga perlu... dan cuma diisi sama cintaNya yang ngga pernah berhenti bekerja.

Trust His heart :) 

Percaya sama cintaNya,
Percaya sama hatiNya,
dan berbahagialah dengan kepercayaan itu :)