A Gift of Surrender

Penyerahan hak dalam hidupmu membuktikan bahwa segala hal yang kamu serahkan tidak lagi menjadi hal-hal yang layak diperjuangkan atau dipertahankan.

Penyerahan hak menjadi bukti nyata bahwa hak tersebut bukan lagi segala-galanya,
bukan lagi bahagiamu,
bukan lagi sukacitamu,
ataupun rasa aman dalam hidupmu.

Ketika kamu menyerahkan hakmu, untuk segala egomu, keinginan dagingmu, kamu sedang mempercayakan hatimu kepadaNya, bukan pada hal lain yang selama ini entah membuatmu 'nyaman' atau justru sakit.

Pada akhirnya, penyerahan hak mengungkapkan dengan tegas dan berani bahwa hanya 1 yang perlu dan menjadi bahagiamu; segala-galanya dalam hidupmu - yaitu Tuhanmu sendiri :)

Philippians 3:8Amplified Bible (AMP) 

"But more than that, I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him—a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ,"

I count everything as loss; for He is my everything.

The Best Form of Loving

When people are asked to think of their best experience with the love of their life, we can actually guess their answers: those sweet moments... those romantic words... those million of roses... those beautiful gifts... and all and all, the best of the best that they can possibly think of or imagine.

Ever thought how heart-breaking and forgiving can actually make the best form of love?
that's the actual proof that we truly love someone, when we forgive them after hurting our hearts. the only measurement of love. which is to love without any measurements at all.

Far before we can make the best form of love through forgiveness,
Remind yourself the first, best moment when you know God loves you.
How did you know He loves you?
Simple. Because that time, you knew that He forgave you from your sins.

You have received, even felt the best form of love by realizing that God forgave you first; you are forgiven from your sins which hurting God... and knowing that, you learn that forgiveness will always be the best version of loving someone.

it is not those sweet moments,
not those romantic words,
or those million roses,
or those beautiful gifts,
or every beautiful thing that makes you happy.

But it is forgiveness.
To love with the best form of love is to keep forgiving the people you love, even when it hurts. it hurts because you need to forgive. Forgive as He has forgiven you.... and continue to love them....

Forgiveness make the best form of love, so make them feel and receive it :)

Guard Your Heart

It is impossible to keep people from doing certain things to us, just because we try our hardest to protect ourselves from getting hurts. Especially in relationship, we often fear too much that we try to run away by restricting other's freedom. I've done too much on this, and the more I tried to keep it, the more I fear... the more I lost... the more it hurts.

We can never control people. It will only make us fear more, worry more, and paralyze more by what they may do. 

The only thing we can do is to keep and to guard our own heart and mind, fill it with what is true, what is pure, and lovely (Phil 4:8-9)

Eventually, we will end up finding that guarding out heart and mind brings more freedom, happiness, and life worth living. Eventually, what others do will no longer matter. We find the only essential thing for our own living: a life not depended on what others do to us, yet a flourishing life of our own peaceful heart.

So guard your heart, for the springs of your life comes from it.

The Analogy of Trusting

“Your daddy is standing in a swimming pool out a little bit from the edge. You are, let’s say, three years old and standing on the edge of the pool. Daddy holds out his arms to you and says, “Jump, I’ll catch you. I promise.” Now, how do you make your daddy look good at that moment? Answer: trust him and jump. Have faith in him and jump. That makes him look strong and wise and loving. But if you won’t jump, if you shake your head and run away from the edge, you make your daddy look bad. It looks like you are saying, “he can’t catch me” or “he won’t catch me” or “it’s not a good idea to do what he tells me to do.” And all three of those make your dad look bad.

But you don’t want to make God look bad. So you trust him. Then you make him look good–which he really is. And that is what we mean when we say, “Faith glorifies God” or “Faith gives God glory.” It makes him look as good as he really is. So trusting God is really important.

And the harder it seems for him to fulfill his promise, the better he looks when you trust him. Suppose that you are at the deep end of a pool by the diving board. You are four years old and can’t swim, and your daddy is at the other end of the pool. Suddenly a big, mean dog crawls under the fence and shows his teeth and growls at you and starts coming toward you to bite you. You crawl up on the diving board and walk toward the end to get away from him. The dog puts his front paws up on the diving board. Just then, your daddy sees what’s happening and calls out, “Johnny, jump in the water. I’ll get you.”

Now, you have never jumped from one meter high and you can’t swim and your daddy is not underneath you and this water is way over your head. How do you make your daddy look good in that moment? You jump. And almost as soon as you hit the water, you feel his hands under your arms and he treads water holding you safely while someone chases the dog away. Then he takes you to the side of the pool.

We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified.” 

― John Piper

Reading this whole words, I get goosebumps all over my heart and soul. Imagine that even a small act of trusting Him over anything else, you're giving glory, all glory to Him. Too often we think that we need a huge sacrifice, a huge kind of act to give Him glory.... but even TRUSTING does give Him all glory. This is well said.

Keep trusting, again and again. God takes pleasure in our trusting to Him :) 

No measurement of beauty

There is no measurement of beauty, no exact tools to define your worth.
The first moment God created woman, He said she was all good, without any measurement. Without any scale. Without any make up. Without fancy wardrobe.
She was already good, the way she was. Too good, as He had put beauty in everything she was.

God loves creating beautiful things, and He creates beauty in each woman.
He creates beauty in you. Just the way you are.
And you don't need to try hard to protect your beauty,
either with strict diet,
or heavy make up tools
either with fancy clothes,
or beautiful heels.
either with all your thoughts, worries, and securities that you have been preaching to feed your soul these days, just because you want to measure your beauty and to keep your beauty safely.

Stop doing and start trusting.

God has the beauty within you, and God protects your beauty Himself.
Why?
Because your beauty belongs to God.
Your worth is found in Him,
and it should be returned for His glory. it is not yours.

I have His kind of beauty inside of my soul

And His beauty is forever secure in me

I will trust Him and not my foods

I will trust Him and not my thoughts,

not even my scale

not my own definition and measurement

I will trust Him and nothing else

And I will use this beauty so others can see,

how beautiful my God is. 

There is grace....

I've never felt a moment when I do really, desperately need the one essential thing He always have for me... His grace. These past times, I had always known that I need grace, in everything I do, I know I'm gonna need it when I get problems, and in times of troubles, simply when I ask, He gives. But that's it. As for me, there is no more about grace other than this cliché thing.

Now,
There is this truth: You'll never know where you stand til you realize that you are not standing anymore. you are falling. and the pain feels real. it hurts like it was never before. and these days, it comes to me like I'm drowning. in the sea of nowhere, and I just knew I'm not standing; even before I realize I've been falling, and drowning so deep.

Before this happened, I've always thought that I'm completely okay, there is nothing wrong with me. Sometimes I have problems but it's all feel okay, and I just thought God is here. Period. But then... the moment I know I've been falling so hard, I know He is still here, standing; but I'm not there with Him.

I've been walking all alone without Him. that's why grace feels cliché in my heart. even my soul cannot grasp what it means to experience grace.

finally all I know is this: I'M DROWNING AND I AM IN CONSTANT NEED OF GRACE.

This literally happened once all i feel was emptiness. loneliness . sickness. tiredness. hopelessness. I was depressed. I didn't have any reason to feel good and enough about myself. Didn't have any to be proud of. everything was missing. I lost my pride, my stand, and myself. I've been thinking I've lost His grace the moment I wasn't standing with Him anymore, the moment I felt completely okay with myself.

I am in constant need of grace.
But He shows me; that grace isn't there only in my times of troubles or needs. grace is here, inside of me, and everywhere, and every moment... and I never lose it.

There is grace in everything I do.
There is grace in whatever I eat,
grace in whatever I wear,
grace in my walking,
grace in my running,
grace in my speaking,
grace in my struggling
There is even grace in my smile,
and grace in my eyes, in my hopeless tears.
There is grace in my love towards myself,
and my love towards others.

There is beautiful grace in my face. and my skin. my body. my feet. my hands. and more grace inside my soul and my heart. grace in everything I am, in everything I do.
grace in who I am these past days. grace in who I am today, and in who I am tomorrow.
that I don't need to ask or to beg Him for His grace.
I'm in constant need of grace, but my life and everything in it is a grace already.
I have grace the moment I don't have anything.
I may not stand with Him these past days, but now I know His grace stands, and now grace is standing and fighting my battle of pain. And I'm gonna win. Grace will put everything back to its places, the place where I belong: His love, His arms. and His providence.

"My grace is sufficient for you..." - 2 Cor 12:9

To love the way He loves

"Mengasihi diriku sebagaimana Dia mencintaiku adalah mengerti dan percaya bahwa apa adanya diriku sudah begitu menyukakan hati Tuhan, ngga perlu ditambah atau dikurangi.   

CintaNya buatku begitu ingin untuk menyukakan hatiNya dengan apa ada nya aku, dengan segala kekurangan dan kelebihanku. 

CintaNya buatku berhenti menuntut dan meminta lebih, karena aku tahu, aku ngga perlu meminta apapun, mengubah apapun dari diriku untuk Dia mengasihi aku. 

CintaNya buatku mengerti, betapa kasihNya selalu baru setiap hari, mengalir dari dalam setiap sel-sel darahku; terdengar begitu lembut dalam setiap detak jantung dan denyut nadiku; dan memancar keluar, sempurna, lewat apa adanya diriku yang begitu menyenangkan hatiNya :) 

CintaNya buatku melihat, betapa aku ngga akan pernah punya alasan untuk nggak mengasihi diriku; betapa apa adanya diriku ini akan selalu berhasil mengukir senyum yang manis di wajahNya."