It's GRACE All the Way

I don't know why so suddenly I felt like He wanted me to write about this, last night I couldn't sleep well, in the midnight I finally woke up and He led me to kneel down, pray and worship.

But... Much more before that, I already wrote and posted something from what I got on my night prayer yesterday, so I posted it on my instagram, well here it is:

Related to this, firstly I wanna share something that are going through my life on the time being, how God's turning all the pains into blessings, how He let me see that His GRACE will never ends....

These past few days has been really really tough. I had my injections for my immune system. People asked about why did I do this? :)) way too much to be explained, but God let me to have one disease that maybe couldn't be healed in a short time. Since this disease came up when I was about 10 years old, I've always praying and asking Him to heal me but He didn't remove it yet perfectly. I've always felt sick everyday, I used to go to so many doctors and medications, but everything went useless.

Then, I tried to live more healthy. Since June 2013, He changed my life. 

I renewed my life style. Since then and until now, I go to gym, I run. I start to care a little more about eating healthy foods. And since that, I haven't got the sick again, I could enjoy myself, I'm living my life happily. And this disease almost never comes up again to scare me, so I thought I did it. Healthy lifestyle could healed. From all of this, I've seen that He healed me through long process which I couldn't explain, because every thing goes better, and I know that He isn't finished yet. But since I had this injections, I realized that this disease was still here, stays inside my body. But it just didn't show up. So I still need medication for this. 

I've known about Paul, I've read it from 2 Corinthians 12, that Paul also had a disease, He has asked God to remove it from his soul for three times but God refused. God said, "My POWER and GRACE go perfectly through your sickness," LOL I've even asked Him more than 3 times! I asked Him everyday, so I thought it will be the same like what Paul had experienced.

And on this time being, as I said before, these injections are REALLY KILLING me! every time I finished my injections, I always get sick, I get temperature, painful headache, painful joints everywhere, I can't go to campus and I just stay at home, I just can eat and sleep. My doctor told me that this will always be the side effects of my injections, because the medication goes through my body's temperature so it will increase my body's temperature. But when it is done, I will be more healthier. So every time I get these injections, I'm always longing for this healthier thing to happen as soon as possible :(

NAH.... last night I think I had enough of all these pain, I'm still going to have my injections tonight, but God finally showed me....yes, it is grace all the way, always have and always will.

I believe that I will always see Him more and most in my weakest. 

So last midnight I woke up with a very dehydrated soul, I've already felt it since the evening, I felt like He told me that He wanted me to stay up during the midnight. But I refused to listen, so I just tried to sleep but I couldn't! 

When I woke up, I decided to start worship and pray. Then just in a minute I started to cry. Tears came up from my eyes. I didn't know why, but I felt really really comfort so I continued to cry. He didn't say anything yet. He let me to took my rest on Him, and I had it. 

I kneel down and I shouted out loud, how all of these really scare my life. I tried my best to keep trusting. Even every thing scares me, even every injection hurts me bad, I don't dare to give up trusting. I keep suck these things up because all I know is if I give up then it will scares me more and more.

And finally, I heard Him.... He told me this that made me cried more and more! 

"you'll never know how much your faith has pleased Me... don't give up, dear"

Yes. don't give up. Keep trusting. Do what you have to do, even if it scares you, even if it hurts you, even if you don't want to. If God said, "Go." then you have to go. You'll never know what tomorrow brings, but everything will be a grace. God will turn all of our pains into blessings if we let them. We are all made from grace, by grace, and for grace. It is grace all the way. I'd never thought that I could survive until now, if not by His grace, what else?

I pray that this posting will bless you, I pray that all of this could be a blessing for you, whoever you are who's reading it now... do not give up on everything :) Pray harder, trust harder. Tough times = trust times. Just give up yourself on His grace.

Faith like Abraham

such a long time since my long-last post, but today i wanna share 'bout what i'm learning year by year... to have faith, even in our smallest trust :)

1 hal yang selalu gua inget, waktu Dia ngomong "Sebanyak yg engkau bisa, beristirahatlah dlm kepercayaan yg kaumiliki terhadapKu, sekecil apapun, ya?" -The Shack/p.155. dan ini yg jadi pegangan hidup gua selama puluhan tahun gua hidup, menghadapi hari-hari yang berat, penuh sama hal-hal yg mungkin seharusnya udah berhasil membuat gua gila.

Tuhan ijinin banyak banget beban yg harus gua pikul, sampe setiap kali gua cerita ke org lain, gua cuma blg di akhir sesi curhat gua, "gua beneran kaya bawa batu, punggung gua berasa bgt berat. buat percaya sama Dia, susah banget, butuh perjuangan."

gua terlalu fokus sama semua beban itu sampe cape dengan semua beban gua, sampe-sampe gua ngerasa bahkan udah terlalu cape buat pikirin beban-beban itu. and i used to be tough. really.

padahal Dia ngga pernah berhenti ngasih liat 'kode' kalo gua, or i mean, KITA, harus dan cuma harus percaya, itu aja. Percaya sama janjiNya, janji kemenangan, janji pemulihan, penyembuhan, segudang janji tentang blessing yang Dia akan limpahin. yet sometimes kita-nya aja yang ngga peka sama kode itu. balik lg ke relationship kita sm Dia, how far, how deep, how? hehehe

so this is taken form a small note that i wrote on my journal, 26 December 2012,

Roma 4:18-22

4:18 Sebab sekalipun tidak ada dasar untuk berharap, namun Abraham berharap juga dan percaya, bahwa ia akan menjadi bapa banyak bangsa, ^s  menurut yang telah difirmankan: "Demikianlah banyaknya nanti keturunanmu. ^t " 4:19 Imannya tidak menjadi lemah, walaupun ia mengetahui, bahwa tubuhnya sudah sangat lemah, ^u  karena usianya telah kira-kira seratus ^v  tahun, dan bahwa rahim Sara telah tertutup. ^w  4:20 Tetapi terhadap janji Allah ia tidak bimbang karena ketidakpercayaan, malah ia diperkuat ^x  dalam imannya dan ia memuliakan Allah, ^y  4:21 dengan penuh keyakinan, bahwa Allah berkuasa untuk melaksanakan apa yang telah Ia janjikan. ^z  4:22 Karena itu hal ini diperhitungkan kepadanya sebagai kebenaran ^.

A FAITH LIKE ABRAHAM.

Gua ga pernah mengerti gimana Abraham bisa sepercaya itu sama Tuhan. buat gua, INI INSANE. totally an insanity. dan mungkin sama seperti yg gua harus alami, harus percaya sama janji Tuhan, over and over again, waiting patiently untuk hal itu, sampe ngerasa emang ini insane.

gimana engga?

Abraham, ngga ada dasar untuk berharap. cuma modal yang Tuhan ngomong doang. umurnya udah tua, istrinya udah tua udah mandul. gila kali kalo masih ngarep-ngarep anak?! hahaha tapi dia berharap dan percaya sama janji Tuhan. Abraham akan jadi Bapa bagi bangsa-bangsa. Siapapun pasti mikir, janji Tuhan kok bertolak belakang banget sama kenyataan?! 

Well, ini yang Tuhan suka:) semakin keliatan ngga mungkin, semakin kita harus gila percayanya. 

Imannya NGGA MENJADI LEMAH, walaupun Abraham tau banget badannya fisiknya udah renta. Abraham NGGA BIMBANG. malah gila nya, semakin terlihat ngga mungkin, ini semakin MEMPERKUAT IMANNYA. NOTED. dan ini memuliakan Allah. sampe Tuhan mungkin bilang "belum ada manusia segila ini buat percaya sama Aku. belum ada," terus mungkin Dia cuma nyengir kalem, santai, ngeliat Abraham holding erat imannya. 

terus 1 hal, kalo kisah Abraham dibaca, ngga pernah tertulis "Abraham stress, Abraham struggle, Abraham depresi, jatuh bangun buat percaya" malah yg ada begitu jelas terlihat, Abraham ENJOY banget dan bener-bener bisa relaxing dalam kepercayaan dia. NAH INI. INI loh, iman yang Tuhan cari. iman yang se-insane ini.

bukan iman untuk dipergumulkan, distruggle-in, disusah-susah-in buat dipercaya dan dipegang erat. tapi iman yang dipercaya dengan hati yg polos, dipercaya dengan sukacita, enjoying & relaxing. beristirahat dalam iman. kalo kita mengenal Dia, seperti Abraham, ngga akan butuh perjuangan dan struggle buat bisa percaya. think abt this.

Kadang bukannya janji Tuhan ngga keliatan, but there's a time dimana Tuhan iseng untuk nutup mata kita dari belakang. seakan-akan kita ngga bisa liat yang di depan janji-janjiNya, terus kita ngga bisa ngeliat Dia di belakang kita. dan seringkali hal seperti ini yang bikin kita cepet depresi, langsung stres, ngga jarang blaming Tuhan ini itu, "Tuhan mana? mana janji Tuhan? katanya Tuhan ada? katanya aku ngga bakal gagal? katanya aku bisa lewatin? katanya aku ngga akan jatoh lagi, mana Tuhan manaaa?" ----> bukan imannya yang gila, tapi kitanya yang bodoh. 

WHAT'S YOUR GIANT NOWDAYS, DEAR?

Hehehe... kenapa harus ada pressures dalam hidup lo? kenapa harus ada segudang masalah berat dalam hidup lo yang bikin lo putus asa? memang harus putus asa dulu kan, baru kita mau percaya sama Dia. Dia paling ngga suka kita depend sama kekuatan kita sendiri or orang lain. Dia cuma mau kita percaya sama Dia. karna emang cuma Dia yang bisa. ngga ada yang terlalu susah, kalo hal ini hal itu terjadi dalam hidup lo dan gua, artinya lo kuat. dan gua kuat. kita kuat, di dalam Dia. so bersiaplah buat pegang erat iman yang gila ini. percaya dengan gila, bukan setengah-setengah. 

IMAN teruji, bukan saat kita lagi seneng.

IMAN teruji, waktu kita lagi sedih, stress, depresi, putus asa.

IMAN teruji, bukan saat Dia kasih kita sesuatu yang bisa kita syukuri dengan gampang.

IMAN teruji, waktu Dia belum kasih kita apapun sesuai janjiNya

IMAN teruji, bukan saat kita lagi ngga ada masalah.

IMAN teruji, dalam masa-masa kesesakan kita

IMAN teruji, bukan saat kita bisa ngeliat Dia dalam hidup kita

IMAN teruji, saat Dia 'terlihat' ngga ada.

IMAN teruji, bukan saat kita bisa percaya.

IMAN akan teruji, waktu kita lagi ngga bisa percaya.

IMAN teruji, saat dunia bilang "ngga mungkin! lo ngga akan bisa! alahh percuma, sia-sia!"

IMAN teruji, saat yang lo liat adalah KEBALIKAN dari janji Tuhan.

saat segala harapan lo seakan dicuri dan hilang gitu aja.

IMAN teruji saat yang lo liat bukanlah yang Dia liat.

dan IMAN akan terus teruji dan diuji, sampe waktunya Tuhan bisa bilang "oke enough, dia udah terlalu gila untuk percaya sama Aku, jadi ini Aku genapin setiap janji Aku," - itu IMAN SEJATI :)

sampe saat ini gua masih belajar untuk terus percaya dengan 'gila', gua masih dipenuhi segala macam tekanan yang membuat gua harus semakin percaya lagi, lebih gila lagi untuk percaya. dan kenapa gua masih bisa percaya? simpel, karna gua ngga pernah berhenti buat liat apa yang gua percayain; JANJI TUHAN. 

jadi, masih menantikan janji Tuhan? santai, kita hanya belum cukup gila untuk percaya, harus lebih gila lagi;)

we may say that the hardest part of believing is to keep believing, but the truth is, it will be a hardest part is not when we keep believing, but when we STOP to see what we are believing for.  

Do you know how to make God happy?
Trust Him! Fill your heart with His promises.
Put your life in His hands. Give Him all the pieces and let Him make something beautiful.
God bless ^^

Girls are like apples

I'm an apple in His eye, the precious one!

He won't let me fall and be reached easily by the wrong boys, then He said i should wait.

i'm worth to be waited

worth to be fought

and worth to be loved, by a true and right man.

#ladyinwaiting

someday. somewhere. somehow. someone. 

p.s : this note belong to every girl who's willing to commit, 
to wait,
 and to hide safely in their God :)

Beauty Fades

"If we fall in love because someone is beautiful, what happens when that beauty fades?"

Beauty soon fades. That's why loving a girl for their appearance won't be existed for a long time, soon it'll fade away. And it's not love.

Love a girl not by her appearance. love her kindly by her heart, which is so hidden in God.

8 Principles for Dating

Taken from: http://theresurgence.com/2012/03/19/for-the-gals-8-principles-for-dating

I recently came across a 20-year-old photo of Phil and me when we were dating. I started thinking about how very little I knew about relationships, men, and marriage then.

Formulating a list of what I would tell myself back then, my advice began with a stern warning to stay away from any man with a mullet . . . but then again, it was the ’90s—every man had a mullet!
On a more serious note, these are eight principles that would have taken much confusion and heartbreak out of those tumultuous dating years. I hope they help you:

1. Repeat after me: “You are loved.” 

I am not kidding. Repeat. After. Me. Out loud, often, with conviction. These are such simple words to say, but they have the most deep and resounding impact on our souls if we would just believe.
God says to his daughters in Jeremiah: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." Until you have tasted God’s eternal, steadfast, redeeming love, hold off on looking for a man. You may just end up settling for a quick love that cannot fill your core heart’s longing. Even if you are not currently being pursued by a man, you are constantly being pursued by Jesus.

2. You are less beautiful than you think and more beautiful than you believe.

Our sin makes us ugly. No amount of makeup, clothing, or confident, flirtatious façade can change that fact. It takes a humble, redeemed woman changed by God to admit the ugliness of her sin and rest in her beauty in Christ. We must repent of our pride, our shame, our obsession with our looks. We must believe and embrace who God made us to be: beautiful in his image.

True beauty emanates from a woman who boldly and unabashedly knows who she is in Christ.

3. Consider what controls you.

Is it fear, loneliness, demand for a man, seeking approval, career, money?
Let the love of Christ control you. Pay attention to what is controlling your heart as you wait for a date, are in a dating relationship, or even into marriage. We settle for lesser gods than the one who died for us and love us unconditionally.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who might live no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” 2 Corinthians 5:14–15

4. Address your daddy issues.

Most of us have them—wounds on our hearts from our earthly fathers and their shortcomings. Whether yours was absent and uninvolved or abusive and abandoning, don’t let him define who you believe your heavenly Father to be. Even if you have a godly and protective father, he is not God.
You are not looking for a dad-duplicate or a dad-replacement in a man. You have a perfect heavenly Father.

Let Scripture reveal to you who God is as Dad and what kind of care he gives his daughters.

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:13

5. Charm and beauty are not a good dating plan.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Often, our grand scheme for how to snag a date goes only skin-deep. We put massive pressure on ourselves to pour on the charm and look cute wherever we go, not realizing that a godly man will also be concerned about inner beauty. God certainly is.

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

A woman who fears the Lord is one who, despite her desire for a date, fears being far away from God more than she does missing out on a man who is easily fooled by her exterior.

6. Realize you are already submitting—or are you?

Submission is not only for wives. God asks for a submitted heart now, one that trusts in his provision and plan for your life, including dating. Ultimately, dating, and all of life, is about submission—waiting and trusting God and saying as Jesus does, “Not my will but yours be done.”
This does not, however, leave you helpless, hopeless, and hamstrung in the relationship department. A godly woman can express friendly interest in a brother in Christ.

• It is OK to mingle—but don’t manipulate.
• Peruse—but don’t pursue. Let him initiate.
• Take notice of the godly men serving Jesus around you—but never stalk. It’s creepy.
• Cross paths with a man who interests you—but don’t tackle him.

7. Dress to kill . . .

. . . your evil desires and his. We all know what it’s like to be noticed for what we wear. Your desire to draw attention to yourself is vanity. Do not falsely advertise what is not available to anyone but your future husband. Don’t open the door for men to make assumptions about you by what you wear. Help your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly and appropriately (and by all means, neatly, cleanly, and fashionably!) Check your heart for your motives when you dress.

8. Guard your heart.

Guarding one’s heart is still an issue even if no one is overtly vying for it.  Watch out for the “might be” snare, as in, "He 'might be' flirting with me and so I’m going to get carried away thinking about every possible place [read: marriage] that could lead."
It is entirely possible to honor God, yourself, and a brother in Christ on a date. Don’t elevate him or the relationship to the place that God alone should hold in your heart. Enjoy, don’t idolize . . . and for goodness sake, relax! A cup of coffee does not necessarily mean a diamond ring is soon to follow.

As a single woman, give your heart fully, wholly, unabashedly, and devotedly to Christ alone.

Be active, vigilant, and careful about how much of your heart you give to a man. Be able to walk away from a dating relationship with your whole heart intact so that your future husband is not robbed of part of it down the road. Prayerfully consider what, when, how much to give away.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

HINENI

Just for short, hari-hari ini Dia totally bawa gua dalam masa-masa pelepasan segala HAK secara keras dan paksa. Well then, seringkali kebiasaan kita ikut Tuhan cuma mau enaknya aja... dan emang ngga bisa dipungkiri, sadar ngga sadar itu terjadi. i mean, ikut Dia keenakan cuma dalam konteks "Bapa-anak"... seorang Bapa yang begitu manjain anaknya, yang apa aja dikasih, diberkati, dipenuhi kasih karunia dan kebaikan.. yeah itu bener adanya. tapi kebiasaan kaya gini bikin kita nyaman dan lupa, kalo ngga selamanya Tuhan mendidik kita secara "Bapak-anak"...

Makanya waktu badai kehidupan, tekanan dateng, kita merasa seperti tenggelam. drowning, dying inside... lalu ngga sedikit yang dissapointed, then left so easily.

Pernah tau didikan secara "Tuan-hamba"? dimana posisi Dia sebagai Tuan dan kita cuma hamba yang ngga bisa apa-apa, ngga punya apa-apa.. dimana Dia bawa kita di titik terendah hidup kita, titik terparah, titik tersakit, dan kita udah seakan ngga punya apa-apa lagi untuk dipertahankan sebagai keberhargaan kita. He takes everything. Atau mungkin, Dia kasih segudang masalah, or even kepercayaan yang terlalu besar yang uncontrolled, dan Dia 'terlihat' tidak melakukan apa-apa, altough kita udah nangis mewek-mewek jejeritan minta KEADAAN BERUBAH dan ngga seperti ini lagi. kita minta Dia keluarin kita dari situasi-situasi seperti ini, an uncomfort zone yang buat kita ngga betah. tapi Dia seperti ngga denger dan ngga keluarin kita sama sekali.....?

tau apa yg lagi terjadi waktu kita ngalemin itu? telah terjadi KEBENTROKAN. dimana KehendakNya bentrok sama kehendak kita. dan itu yang ngebuat kita ngga bisa bertahan. terlalu nyaman dan sombong, sampe ngga mau keluar, out of the box. maunya yang enak-enak aja. kita terlalu egois dan manja. terlalu bocah sampe-sampe apa-apa ngeluh protes ke Dia. terlalu childish sampe segampang itu untuk akhirnya lebih memilih melepaskan diriNya... dan tanpa sadar, tenggelam semakin dalam... 

Are you UNDER PRESSURES? Drowning and dying inside? Just REFUSE TO SINK.

HINENI.
Bahasa klasik Ibrani yang dipakai budak-budak ketika dipanggil tuan nya, yang berarti "Ini aku, Tuan,"

Cuma itu yang Dia mau ajar. prinsip KEHAMBAAN yang sejati yang terjadi dan hanya akan terlihat di badai kehidupan kita, di segala kelemahan kita. gua mengalami begitu banyak. semua kenyamanan gua ikut Dia, blessings yang Dia kasih, everything, tiba-tiba Dia ambil satu per satu... dan di sisi lain, Dia kasih banyak kepercayaan yang terlalu besar di saat gua kehilangan semua kekuatan dan kenyamanan gua. Totally, a powerlessness. Lalu gua ngambek dan ngeluh, protes, dan LUPA kalo gua cuma HAMBA. Hamba yang ngga berguna kalo ngga di-didik sama Sang Tuan. Hamba yang ngga punya HAK apapun. termasuk untuk mengeluh, untuk protes, untuk ngga bersyukur. and even, seorang HAMBA, yang ngga punya apa-apa. 

Padahal, dalam ketidakberdayaan kita sebagai hamba, disitulah Sang Kasih Karunia bekerja mengekspresikan SEGALANYA, GRACE will express the spring of life in our under-prresures moments.... (of course ini dalam ke-hineni-an kita^^) -My GRACE is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in WEAKNESS," 2 Cor 12:9

"Then i heard  the voice of the LORD saying: "Whom shall i send? Who will go for Me?"

so, i said,

"Here i am, send me!"

-isaiah 6:8

Apapun yang Dia ijinin terjadi, apapun yang Dia kasih n' percayain ke kita, tough it feels sucks and hurts, inget... balik lagi, semua dari, oleh, dan untuk Dia. it's all about WILLINGNESS and it takes a DEVOTION. Kerelaan, pengabdian, buat diutus sama Dia, jadi seperti apapun, kemanapun, gimana pun.. Karena Kerendahan Hati mendahului Kemuliaan .

and the last, He gives, He sends, He even takes away... and do we have a say? do we have a right? Stop complaining, stop judging, stop blaming. Think again, kneel down, and pray for a servant's heart :) 

Evelyn adalah hamba. Evelyn hanya melakukan apa yang harus Evelyn lakukan.
So, here i am, God. With all i am.
<3

THE REST

As time goes by.. there's so many times, so many troubles and pains that just make me OVER FEAR. too much fear, uncontrolled fear. i'm terribly desperate by my own fear. fyi, this is my weakness. my golliat: frightened, terrified.

i'm fear of my future. i'm fear of all this sickness. i'm fear to walk in God's plan. i'm too fear if all i want isn't the same like what God wants in my life. and He showed that. my way isn't His way. everything i want, it's not what He wants. i'm trying to walk in my own way but i failed so many times then He just leads me away from my way. i was like asdfghjkl...

i was cried everynight, overthinking, i hate the night when my past suddenly calls. i often awakened in the midnight, awakened of a nightmare then i got up with being fearful so i just cried and cried out loud. i became soo much afraid since God sent me a big waves that i couldn't controlled. i once was brave enough to walk on this waving-water. and i won it. but now, He just took up my winning into a failure. i keep trying to believe Him and know what? He's keep trying to failed me. and i just felt that He is no where.

i feel like that i wanna give up. i feel tired, this wave dies my bones. i lost my joyful. i forgot how to be thankful, i was like Job in the bible.

and i didn't realized that this fear kills my faith. i'm too comfortable in this fear-zone. i'm afraid to walk out and see the big waves in front of me. so i used all this fear as a stockade for my fortress. do you?

well, i experienced all of those.
but NOW, this is what i'm talking about;

How to livin' the Faith, in your hardest part? how to being fearless? for me, faith, and hope is a restful place. so when the world seems broke me down, then i kneel and take my rest. stop the war, the journey, for a while. and get some rest. This is what He just taught to me, He speaks to me most in the hardest part :')

1. Dear FAITH, Speak Up! Realized that YOUR FAITH MUST SPEAK UP. not your fear, not your problems. make this faith alive, over and over again! GOD IS NOW HERE! The bible never once says "FIGURE IT OUT" but over and over it says "TRUST GOD" He's already got it all figured out :)

Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

   My grace is enough; it's all you need.
   My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. -2 Cor 12:7-10

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest. -Matt 11:28

2. Take a REST in God when u're tired. do not do anything u can't control.

You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you & take your rest in safety. -Job 11:18

"In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved"

"In repentance and rest you'll be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength, but unfortunately, you were not willing!" -Isaiah 30:15"

" And stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from SETTLING DOWN, in complete DEPENDENCE on Me," -The MSG

3. Just like what Job did, stop complaining, stop blaming God. Well, i'm crying a lot for learning this :D But even Job did not blamed God for once. Keep trusting. i had it all, i once saw God as the one who makes me trust in Him but i once saw Him as the one who makes me fall even harder. but this is a super wrong mind-setting.

Stop asking why and start asking how. Not "Why this must be happen?" but "How it can bring GLORY to You?"

4. Know that He gives but He takes away, just praise the Lord for all is belong to Him. your pride, your appearance, your heart, your everything. it's not yours. it's God's. we're just a servants :)

5. When u get up every morning, make an ALTAR of HAND OVER.. let go all your problems, all your fear, all your uncontrolled mind, your feelings, and all your life to Him. Then we have no more rights to get it back in 24/7^^ do this in the morning and even before u sleep. well i did it and it sucha help^^

6. Keep thankful, be grateful and be joyful. make the devil tired of hurting you coz u never give up and u keep thankful & believing :D

7. Learn to Praise Him in your heart-shattered! Just like what David did;

"I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered," -psalm 51 (THE MSG) 

 "Tune me into foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing,"

Remember, God is too good, 'till He doesn't know how to give us a bad things. Everything is GOOD, all is well and He doesn't give us a FEAR, He gives us a STRENGTH in Him. Don't only trust Him in our happy parts. keep trusting Him in our hardest part. i'm learning too :') There must be a GLORY behind this. 

and this, some reference from  http://rebekahknight.blogspot.com/ --> this blog such blessed me up:)

God has the map.

OK God,

I think I am ready.

I have kicked, and cried,

and tried,

to understand

Why.

The truth is,

I dont understand,

but I trust 

YOU.

I know that 

YOU

have never let me down,

even when events and chapters have unfolded,

pages have come,

and gone,

embraced and un-embraced.

You

carry me.

YOU 

guide me.

I feel you pull my heart away,

to a new day,

another way,

a new path,

unmarked,

not walked.

I can not see ahead,

I have only your voice to guide me.

I can't lag behind,

or I might lose sight of 

YOU.

The darkness and uncertainty blind me,

But YOU are my light.

I know that 

I have kicked, and cried,

and tried,

to understand

Why.

But I think now,

I am ready,

to follow,

to not look at things I leave behind,

But to took to

YOU.

To hold your hand,

to trust YOUR plan,

to leave the question marks,

in the sand.

YOU

hold my tears,

YOU

are aware of my fears,

but

YOUR perfect love,

will bind them and wipe my tears away.

Joy will be found in the light of a

new day.

I step toward

YOUR way,

The path, I sense you are calling me on.

Clothed in simple,

rustic

FAITH.

I come.

God speaks to me in varying ways.

 Recently, He has spoken to my heart through the concepts of gardening. 

We are like Gods plants, we need:

Planting,

Watering,

Feeding,

Pruning.

 We need to be planted in good soil.. 

The gardener may need to 

reposition us,

to get us in a better spot for growth.

I spoke a bit about this in my last post.

This week, 

God was reminding me about seasons.

How in one season,

 A plant bulb can lay dormant, under the surface of the soil, and seem to disappear.

If we have seen it grow up in the summer or spring before,

We have faith it will do the same once more.

However, we can't see it.

But we believe it will return.

Likewise, I find myself thinking about seasons where I have flourished and thrived,

But now, I may be in the winter season.

All evidence of my buds are gone.

My days of blossoming are a distant memory.

However,

I hear the gentle voice of the great gardener in my ear.

"You will rise again.

You will bloom again.

You will feel alive again."

 I'M ON MY REST WHILE HE'S PREPARING ME FOR THE NEXT JOURNEY AND WAR, DO YOU? :)