Reassurance

The Exchange

Today I cried to God, again and again,

with all of these tiredness and hopelessness.

I gave my heart back to God,

throwing it away recklessly;

with all the disappointment,

all the heart-broken, painful moments, hurting words,

all my uncontrolled fears and worries which has haunted me for long… 

I sat under His feet, dwelling, asking, even begging God to fix my heart

My heart was cracking everywhere.

He looked at me, deeply.

and instead of taking and fixing my heart, rather, He stepped on it. 

It was shattered all around me, all around Him.

He then smiled at me, said that I don’t need that broken heart anymore.

He opened His hands, giving me a new heart… and it is His heart… 

rather than telling me to change and fixing my heart, He creates the change; the new heart.

And His heart perfectly fits the hole inside my soul.

I've finally come to realize that I don't need to fight so hard,
or to keep my head up high, trying to be really strong in my own strength.
I don't even need to fight this much to protect my heart from being broken.
He gives the exchange, 
and now it is His perfect love surrounding, protecting my soul; helping me to love like He loves
it is His heart covering me.

Ever got the feeling when you’re finally found a shelter and hid inside it, avoiding the heavy rain outside? That’s exactly the relief feeling as I’m now hiding in His heart, and even having it inside my soul — perfectly… securely. 

"Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the LORD has been good to you..."  

Psalm 116:7

Let it be Your Lovingkindness

Lamentations 3 : 22-28

It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that I am not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion and my inheritance,” says my soul;
“Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait [confidently] for Him,
To those who seek Him [on the authority of God’s word].
It is good for me to wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for me that I should bear
The yoke [of godly discipline] in my youth.
Let me sit alone [in hope] and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me [for my benefit].

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,

the only thing that matters the most to me

the only thing that hugs my soul very tight

that I’m not consumed with any other things.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,

the only thing that makes me see,

how deeply loved, blessed, and secured I am

in the arms of my loving Father.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God

the only refuge for my soul

the only thing I am waiting and longing for,

in this morning of struggle, fear and despair,

and every morning, throughout my day… 

Let it be your lovingkindness, God… 

And let me sit alone in hope and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me. 

The Beauty of Trust

The beauty of trust is seen when you know how He actually feels to see your trust. Here is the thing: God is very happy with your every trust on Him :)

Ngga ada yang lebih menyenangkan Tuhan daripada kepercayaanmu kepada-Nya.
Dalam setiap kepercayaanmu, penyerahan hakmu (tentang apapun), Tuhan begitu disenangkan.
Inilah persembahan terbaik dan begitu harum di mata dan hatiNya, simply karna kamu memberikan apa yang paling kamu inginkan, atau mungkin kamu takutkan; cuma ke dalam tangan Dia :)

"Memberikan Tuhan kepercayaanmu yang utuh dan manis untuk memelihara hidupmu, segalanya tentang kamu, adalah kepercayaan yang menyenangkan hatiNya."

Kalau Tuhan begitu disenangkan dengan penyerahan hak dan kepercayaan kita, bagaimana mungkin kita ngga bersukacita dalam setiap kepercayaan kita kepadaNya? bagaimana mungkin kita ngga bersukacita waktu kita menyerahkan setiap keinginan dan ketakutan kita, mengijinkan hatiNya yang penuh cinta bekerja buat hidup kita?

Percaya berarti mengijinkan cintaNya bekerja memenuhi hidup kita, bukan kita lagi yang berusaha keras untuk jaga atau kontrol hidup kita; tapi Tuhan sendiri. Percaya, sampai hidup kita ngga lagi diisi oleh ketidakpuasan, ketakutan, kekhwatiran yang ngga perlu... dan cuma diisi sama cintaNya yang ngga pernah berhenti bekerja.

Trust His heart :) 

Percaya sama cintaNya,
Percaya sama hatiNya,
dan berbahagialah dengan kepercayaan itu :)

A Gift of Surrender

Penyerahan hak dalam hidupmu membuktikan bahwa segala hal yang kamu serahkan tidak lagi menjadi hal-hal yang layak diperjuangkan atau dipertahankan.

Penyerahan hak menjadi bukti nyata bahwa hak tersebut bukan lagi segala-galanya,
bukan lagi bahagiamu,
bukan lagi sukacitamu,
ataupun rasa aman dalam hidupmu.

Ketika kamu menyerahkan hakmu, untuk segala egomu, keinginan dagingmu, kamu sedang mempercayakan hatimu kepadaNya, bukan pada hal lain yang selama ini entah membuatmu 'nyaman' atau justru sakit.

Pada akhirnya, penyerahan hak mengungkapkan dengan tegas dan berani bahwa hanya 1 yang perlu dan menjadi bahagiamu; segala-galanya dalam hidupmu - yaitu Tuhanmu sendiri :)

Philippians 3:8Amplified Bible (AMP) 

"But more than that, I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him—a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ,"

I count everything as loss; for He is my everything.

The Best Form of Loving

When people are asked to think of their best experience with the love of their life, we can actually guess their answers: those sweet moments... those romantic words... those million of roses... those beautiful gifts... and all and all, the best of the best that they can possibly think of or imagine.

Ever thought how heart-breaking and forgiving can actually make the best form of love?
that's the actual proof that we truly love someone, when we forgive them after hurting our hearts. the only measurement of love. which is to love without any measurements at all.

Far before we can make the best form of love through forgiveness,
Remind yourself the first, best moment when you know God loves you.
How did you know He loves you?
Simple. Because that time, you knew that He forgave you from your sins.

You have received, even felt the best form of love by realizing that God forgave you first; you are forgiven from your sins which hurting God... and knowing that, you learn that forgiveness will always be the best version of loving someone.

it is not those sweet moments,
not those romantic words,
or those million roses,
or those beautiful gifts,
or every beautiful thing that makes you happy.

But it is forgiveness.
To love with the best form of love is to keep forgiving the people you love, even when it hurts. it hurts because you need to forgive. Forgive as He has forgiven you.... and continue to love them....

Forgiveness make the best form of love, so make them feel and receive it :)

Guard Your Heart

It is impossible to keep people from doing certain things to us, just because we try our hardest to protect ourselves from getting hurts. Especially in relationship, we often fear too much that we try to run away by restricting other's freedom. I've done too much on this, and the more I tried to keep it, the more I fear... the more I lost... the more it hurts.

We can never control people. It will only make us fear more, worry more, and paralyze more by what they may do. 

The only thing we can do is to keep and to guard our own heart and mind, fill it with what is true, what is pure, and lovely (Phil 4:8-9)

Eventually, we will end up finding that guarding out heart and mind brings more freedom, happiness, and life worth living. Eventually, what others do will no longer matter. We find the only essential thing for our own living: a life not depended on what others do to us, yet a flourishing life of our own peaceful heart.

So guard your heart, for the springs of your life comes from it.