Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Exchange

Today I cried to God, again and again,
with all of these tiredness and hopelessness.
I gave my heart back to God,
throwing it away recklessly;
with all the disappointment,
all the heart-broken, painful moments, hurting words,
all my uncontrolled fears and worries which has haunted me for long… 

I sat under His feet, dwelling, asking, even begging God to fix my heart
My heart was cracking everywhere.

He looked at me, deeply.
and instead of taking and fixing my heart, rather, He stepped on it. 
It was shattered all around me, all around Him.

He then smiled at me, said that I don’t need that broken heart anymore.
He opened His hands, giving me a new heart… and it is His heart… 
rather than telling me to change and fixing my heart, He creates the change; the new heart.
And His heart perfectly fits the hole inside my soul.

I've finally come to realize that I don't need to fight so hard,
or to keep my head up high, trying to be really strong in my own strength.
I don't even need to fight this much to protect my heart from being broken.
He gives the exchange, 
and now it is His perfect love surrounding, protecting my soul; helping me to love like He loves
it is His heart covering me.

Ever got the feeling when you’re finally found a shelter and hid inside it, avoiding the heavy rain outside? That’s exactly the relief feeling as I’m now hiding in His heart, and even having it inside my soul — perfectly… securely. 

"Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the LORD has been good to you..."  
Psalm 116:7

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Let it be Your Lovingkindness

Lamentations 3 : 22-28
It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that I am not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion and my inheritance,” says my soul;
“Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait [confidently] for Him,
To those who seek Him [on the authority of God’s word].
It is good for me to wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for me that I should bear
The yoke [of godly discipline] in my youth.
Let me sit alone [in hope] and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me [for my benefit].

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,
the only thing that matters the most to me
the only thing that hugs my soul very tight
that I’m not consumed with any other things.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God,
the only thing that makes me see,
how deeply loved, blessed, and secured I am
in the arms of my loving Father.

Let it be your lovingkindness, O, God
the only refuge for my soul
the only thing I am waiting and longing for,
in this morning of struggle, fear and despair,
and every morning, throughout my day 

Let it be your lovingkindness, God 

And let me sit alone in hope and keep quiet,
Because God has laid it on me.