I saw that pair of elegant heels, wore by a skinny mannequin with its both hands styled like she was knocking the window display and asking the people to buy the same heels she was wearing. It was me, outside a new branded shoes shop, where every woman dream is to get at least a heels from the shop. And yeah, almost like every woman will probably reacts, I stuck in front of the mannequin, and I was like "OH MY GOD can I just have the heels?"
Nearly the same like when a little girl stuck in front of a toy shop, begging her mother to buy her a new cooking set wannabe. But a little girl is just a little girl, limited by one thing that she wants the most, and that's why she will beg her mother to buy it, once she get it, she'll be satisfied and won't ask for more. But as for me, I'm a grown up woman, and I think freakingly unlimited!
"Can I just have all of the heels I want in this whole world and be able to wear it confidently, and walk smoothly like a runway model in ANTM seasons?"
Then, and then, it's not just about heels..... next to the shoes shop it was another mannequin, standing tall wearing a short dress with a bow on the waist, inside a glamorous boutique. I couldn't hold my eyes not to seeing it. I couldn't just run away from it. It was too eye catching, man. And I bet every woman will also choose to enter the door, looking for all the dress that sold there. Or at least, asking when there'll be a big sale. So I went in. I forgot the heels for awhile, and passionately looked for some mini dress that I wanted so bad. Mini dress could make my short tiny legs a little longer and taller, right?
"If only I could buy both the heels and the dress, if only my body fits the dress, if only I have that mannequin body.... I must be a little prettier wearing it..."
But I left without buying anything. Women know how it feels to go home without buying anything they want. Alas, it's genuinely sucks, right? hahahaha I pretty know how it feels! You'll find yourselves squirmed insane on your bed, keep saying "I should've bought it" or "I want it but it didn't match for me" "I couldn't afford it" "I'm too weird to wear that, I'm not that beautiful to wear it" "I'll buy it later if it really makes me a little prettier"
To cover up, too often we, as a woman, think that certain things have power to make us prettier, feel more beautiful, confident, valuable, and acceptable. It's not only about heels, dress, it can be the make up we're wearing everyday as our mask, it can be our diets, exercises that we are taking, it can be our skills. It happens right? And it's always hurting to realize that the more we think about it, the less beautiful we think we are. But why we pursue them, anyway? We try everything we can.
Because all the world care is just to be pretty and acceptable in the outside, where inner beauty doesn't matter really much as long as you have your outer beauty. And sad to say but women trust the world. Women trust that those things really helpful to make them prettier. They give away their real beauty for those fleeting beauty.
But seasons change, people change. The world change. The definition of 'beauty' are always changing, whenever there are new trendsetter come out and shouting that they have power to make you pretty and more pretty. On one day the magazine said "you'll be pretty when you wear this squared pattern skirt!" but on the other day they can even say, "squared pattern is outdated, now we welcome you the new beauty in this miniskirt!" and it'll always be like that, changing and changing in every season. You'll never know what a real beauty is. All you know is just a fleeting beauty that keep changing, so in order to stay pretty you have to follow all the rules of beauty that the world has. When you do it, you're happy, then when you can't fit in it, it hurts you. On some days you may seem to enjoy it, but look in the core of your heart... you're longing for a real, true beauty that can never be changed even by things.
It's not just you, it was me also, longing for a real beauty.
I was addicted for a beauty. I didn't know what is a real beauty. I tried everything I can. I followed all the rules of beauty, till I feel that I really fit in. Once I felt I fit in, but on the other days, I was falling apart with the feeling of "still not good enough, still have to push myself harder" My days was full of ups and downs, I lost my joy, peace, and happiness the time I felt like I'm still not good enough.
The time will come when after a very long journey, suffering from chasing your fleeting beauty, you'll find yourselves insanely tired of trusting what the world says is beautiful. Because all you need is a true beauty, a true love saying that you're really enough for who you are.
"You always think that only a nice skirts, dress, heels, and make up could make you beautiful. You think that only some foods with balance diets and habitually exercises could make you beautiful. The TRUTH is, let Me tell you, My girl... those things didn't make you. Those things didn't create you, they even didn't design you... and they never will.
I am the one who made you, I created you, I designed you, beautifully. You're altogether beautiful, My love, there's no flaw in you (SoS 4:7). I made you beautiful, and I could make you more beautiful inside and outside, 'cause I am the only one who knows how to beautify you, perfectly in My image, precious in My eyes. Never trust what the world says is beautiful, as the world only gives you fleeting and insecure beauty. I know how stress you're these days for keep chasing the world beauty, just because you trust them to give you that beauty.
Stop it, don't put your trust on them anymore.Trust me over everything you used to trust.When you're stop longing for those heels, dress, or makeup, you're delighting Me in the way of putting your trust into action that those things has no power to design your beauty more than My Word has.When you break the chain of your strict diets and you're start eating what the world says isn't supposed to be eaten as it's not a diet foods, you're delighting Me in the way of putting your trust into action that those foods has no power to shape your body more than my Word has.When you're quitting yourself from that hard, excessive exercises, you're delighting Me in the way of putting your trust that those things also has no greater power to shape your body and your mind more than my Word and my TRUTH will ever do. Take a rest!Okay, get My point? Your every TRUST in My Word will never be wasted, it's gonna be a miracle, a beauty for you. To get beauty is to trust the truth of beauty."